Chapter 2

Here I am standing in front of my house for 5 minutes which felt like 5 hours waiting for someone to open the door.

I couldn't ring the doorbell more than 2 times since it was almost 1 am.
Bu zaid opened it for us.

I walked into the house and found Mama in the living room I was walking towards her.

Everything was normal, except that i had a feeling everything wasn't.

Whenever i have this 'something is wrong' feeling SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG and that made me even more nervous.

Suddenly madawi popped out of nowhere wrecking my train of thoughts.

She quickly grabbed my hand and pushed me to the other living room 'mul7ag' and shut the door.

Madawi looked like a mess. Literally! her hair was a mess, her eyes were all red and puffy and had some dry tears on them.

Madawi: Nora listen... Theres no easy way of telling you this but mom found a lump under her breast.. Its obviously cancer but its either 7ameed or 5abeth... She started tearing up again.

Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Those words echoed through my mind. They were new to me, so fresh to my mind that I barely even remembered what it means, I never really knew anyone who has\had cancer. Not until now.

Stay strong Nora. I remembered sara's words to me.

I started to laugh. I laughed so hard that i teared up a bit. I was so happy and sad, I cant explain the feeling. So happy to hear it was cancer, not death.

Everyone was crying. Our relationship with our mother was very very strong el7amdilla.

Madawi: MN JDIK? I JUST TOLD YOU OUR MOTHER HAS CANCER AND YOU LAUGH? WOW VERY MATURE NORA. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU. She was furious.

After explaining my situation to madawi I wanted to see mama, I haven't seen her since yesterday, I miss her.


I thought i handled that situation very well.
I thought i was emotionally strong after hearing that my mother had cancer and not shed a single tear.
I thought i grew up, mentally & emotionally.

Until i saw my mom, those thoughts quickly faded away.

I couldn't
I couldn't see her like this
I couldn't see her suffer

A tear escaped my eye. Madawi noticed.

Madawi Al-X: PING!!!
Madawi Al-X: Dont let her see you cry she'll get sad
Madawi Al-X: Cancer is all about elnafsya, nafsyatha kwaysa then btt3afa enshalla.
Nora: Okay..

Mama: Ya halaa bnooora wa7ashteenaa

Me: Mamaaaaaa. I kissed her forehead and hugged her very very tight.

I felt like a 4-year old screaming maaamaaa and running in for a hug, but who cares she is my mother after all.

Her warm long hugs were the best. She made me forget all my worries. All my tears climbed back up into my eyes.

We chatted all night long, me, madawi, haifa and mama. Till the sun rise. We didn't really talk about her cancer, we wanted her to forget about it since her happiness kind of depends on it. All night long i was in her arms I couldn't let go of her. 

 أحب أمي ، وصوت أمي ، وحضن أمي ، وكل أمي

الحمدالله على كل حال